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Ep. 58 Male Intimacy: The Benefits of Cultivating Authentic and Fulfilling Connections

Hey guys — this one’s for you!

In this episode, Rafael and Jim join forces again to help men discover the rewards of lasting male intimacy and friendships. These connections have been shown to reduce depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation — and can even lead to a longer life.

Humor also helps. Comedian, Hunter Duncan, in one of his standup bits, shared that the dating app Bumble has a BFF version where you can just swipe your way into a male friendship. He admitted to trying it out to make new guy friends and confessed it was semi-disastrous: “People are looking at my profile like, I wouldn’t even throw a frisbee with this guy.” Hence, shrinks (including your hosts) stress the importance of men’s groups…and other activities where men can cultivate authentic connections with other guys.

Don’t give up hope, comrades: turns out men are teachable, and we can learn to get out of our own way. We can be re-socialized to be less competitive, ego driven, approval seeking, inauthentic, and stoic. Men can also learn to stop engaging in “one-upmanship” behavior (except maybe while watching sports, like say a football game between the Lions and the 49er’s (a random example that may or may be based on a lived experience between Jim and Rafael).